


Memento Mori

by PhoenixNinja101



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Death, Family, Filipino Character, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Other, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 16:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20411167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixNinja101/pseuds/PhoenixNinja101
Summary: The 3 times she encountered Death and how she understood.





	Memento Mori

**Author's Note:**

> Me: This... actually happened to me in real-life, y'know. So no flames please... Just an introspection of, well, Death.

**I.**

The first time she encountered death, she was two-three years old.

Young, naive, and unaware.

So when there was a small gathering in her _lolo¹ Boy's_ house, her grandmother's brother, she was nothing but a curious child wondering what the commotion was about.

Her _lola² Luz_, her usually composed grandmother was bawling her eyes out, and it was unexpected because for all she knew, her lola was very strict, very _masungit_ (ill-tempered), and will pinch her thighs when she does something to warrant such punishment.

This, however, was something she'd never seen before.

As young as she was, she didn't know what caused her lola so much sadness.

So when she set out to look for her _lolo Boy_ and found him in a large, white box presented in the middle of the room, nobody stopped her, nor paid her any mind for at one point, she would have to know.

Curious as she was, the moment she had reached the box (coffin, she'd later learn), the first thing she did was place a hand on the glass separating her from the inside before taking a peek.

But what she saw next only sent her jolting back in fear, reeling in shock because _why was her lolo Boy so pale? Why was he not moving? Why was he inside?_

And when she asked her lola,

> "_Bakit natutulog si lolo Boy doon?_"  
(Why was Grandfather Boy sleeping there?)

And when her grandmother cried harder, nobody blamed her for asking.

(He's dead, her lola would later say. He died of heart attack, she would explain. He's not coming back, she'd understand.

But she would never forget the haunting image her dead lolo displayed that day, no matter how many years pass because he's dead and Death was scary.)

**II.**

She was six when she encountered it again, her birthday passing only two days ago.

By that time, her parents whom have been working in the city had taken her from her lola, and began her schooling from there.

Still too young to understand the circumstances, she lived in _Manila³_ and didn't question when her second lola, '_Nanay⁴_' as she called her, moved in with them.

(Their house had been too run-down to live in, and was scheduled to be demolished soon but she didn't know that.)

Old, frail, and weak Nanay was always in a wheelchair, only able to eat food turned to mush as she was unable to chew.

One day, she dreamt of being in the sky, of being able to fly, of being free. _Nanay_ was there with her, so she wasn't scared, even knowing it was a dream.

And then _Nanay_ asked her,

> "_Halika, sumama ka sa akin. Bumili tayo ng pandesal⁵._"  
(Come here, come with me. Let's go buy some pandesal.)

That ended her dream, and the day continued with their usual routine.

(Later, later she would be glad she hadn't accepted her beckoning, or answered her call because if she had —_if she had_...*)

Everything had been normal that day.

So when she got home, her parents being unable to fetch her because of her unusually early dismissal (it was their examination period and the school failed to update their schedules), she was surprised to find multiple strangers in her home.

She was young and too young to understand, but when her mother told her,

> "_Patay na lola mo._"  
(Your grandmother is dead.)

She didn't feel... sad, only surprised and the first thing she had in mind was,

> "_Bakit hindi ka umiiyak?_"  
(Why aren't you crying?)

Because_ Nanay_ was her mother's mother and no matter how close she was to her, it didn't change how much she cared for her own mother.

Calmly, her mother told her: pregnant women can't cry, and they left it at that.

There was an odd stirring in her stomach that night, and strangely enough, all she felt was disappointment.

(Disappointed at what? Disappointed that she'd never see her again? Disappointed that they couldn't spend more time together?)

No sadness, nor grief.

Because she was six but no matter how young she was, she knew enough to understand because she's not coming back.

(Death will never bring anyone back.)

And unexpected it may be, death will take us at some point.

(Everyone dies at some point, everything has an end.)

**III.**

The third time she saw death, it happened three days before Christmas.

Her _tita⁶ Jemma_, who had been hospitalized for two weeks now, had asked to be moved to a hospital in the city, but died moments after her arrival.

She was sixteen, old enough to understand.

Her strong-willed _tita_, jovial and beloved as she may be, she fought til the end, yet death still took her.

It didn't matter who you are, how much you are loved, or when it'll happen.

Death takes whoever, whenever. It cannot be stopped.

(Death is inevitable - it comes to us unexpectedly.)

Memento Mori - she learned, meant that we should understand that everyone will die at some point.

Death is scary. Death is inevitable. But death is natural.

And it cannot be stopped, for life is temporary.

That's why, we should cherish it before it burns out.

Before Death takes it from us.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Lolo \- Filipino translation of 'grandpa'.  
2\. Lola \- Filipino translation of 'grandma'.  
3\. Manila \- a city in the Philippines, Metro Manila.  
4\. Nanay \- Filipino term for 'mother', but refers to any woman with a child so it can be used with grandmothers as well.  
5\. Pandesal \- a bread in the Philippines usually eaten for breakfast or meryenda (snack time after lunch).  
6\. Tita \- Filipino translation for 'auntie'.
> 
> * Filipinos are known to be superstitious, so dreams may have had a significant meaning in her grandma's death - in this context, her grandmother may have been inviting her to come with to Heaven.)


End file.
